Difference between revisions of "User:Badmachine/sandbox"

MyWikiBiz, Author Your Legacy — Tuesday November 26, 2024
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<font size="5">**DRAFT**
+
shit people will care about who donate to wikipedia
MAD PROPZ TO MEEPSHEEP FOR BEING CLUED IN ALL ALONG TO WHAT A DICK IRONHOLDS IS (he said 'it practically wrote itself') :D
 
  
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA, WHO IS ILL AND DYING OF AIDS, MUCH LIKE THE BELOVED TOWN SKANK*</font>
+
;need
 +
*tell what their haul so far is
 +
*list their goal for a endowment so wp can run forever and keep info pollution alive
  
<small>*not intended to refer to any specific person</small>
+
lol what will your funds go for
----
+
;outreach
[[File:Ironholds.jpg|thumb|right|His "sexy serial killer" look]]
+
*ineffective
{{quote
 
|I'm Autistic, having Aspergers Syndrome, i have an IQ of 145, an Eidetic memory to do with sounds and am lucky enough to suffer from Bipolar disorder.|Ironholds|suffering all the diseases that come from too much Wikipedia}}
 
{{quote|1=I met him a few years ago in London. He struck me as a sad character, quite bitter that he had trained as a lawyer, but had only been able to find probate work, which he was contemptuous of, and which he implied was beneath his talent and his dignity.|2= [http://wikipediocracy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=2572 Peter Damian]}}
 
{{quote|1=Our legal or operations teams are not driven by community consensus, and the chances of us releasing the information are....infidecimally small.|2=[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Village_pump_%28technical%29&diff=prev&oldid=564229827 Ironholds tries out a two dollar word]
 
}}
 
  
'''Oliver Keyes''' (going by the street handle '''"Ironholds"'''), is a notorious [[Wikipedia]] vandal, disgraced Wikipedia sysop, and the pimp-daddy of Wikipedia IRC, scoring every bitch that dares chat in the vicinity of his e-masculinity. Having accomplished his lifetime dream of working for [[Wikimedia Foundation]], he now spends his golden years unleashing anger in public IRC channels, and then having his rage elevated once he realizes people may remember his words and/or actions.
+
;management / mismanagement (ms management?)
  
Ironholds later deleted his userpage because of this article. Last Thursday, he was [http://www.examiner.com/article/wikimedia-foundation-s-oliver-keyes-stripped-of-administrator-status de-adminned] after evidence of his Wikipedia vandalism surfaced at an ArbCom case.
+
*sue gardner and the 600k[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/06/08/wmf_executive_pay/]
 +
*sue gardner and sexual harassment
 +
*'we admit weve been wasting your donations'[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/10/08/wikipedia_foundation_money_in_wrong_place/]
  
==Ironholds x Fluffernutter==
+
;hosting
[[File:Ingraffea 1370378514 140.jpg|thumb|right|His top-bottom bitch]]
+
*pedo material
[[File:Pukehumpzt0.gif|thumb|Artistic rendition]]
+
*information pollution
At one point Ironholds shacked up with fellow TOW admin and known cougar '''Karen Ingraffea Brown''', aka [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Fluffernutter Fluffernutter], at her New Jersey home while he was staying in the USA. He was quick to slip her some alcohol, and began getting to work on her overweight ass. She, being under the influence cheap boxed wine and her moistening vag, could not think her actions through properly and thus shared their ugly, ugly love in the public #wikipedia-en channel. This was obviously a very good idea.
 
  
<pre>
+
;wmf engineering
19:57:22 < tyw7> Ironholds: I think Fluffernutter_ is currently afk
+
{{quote|that one about not much of value}}
19:57:27 < tyw7> see Fluff|laptop instead
+
*foreign labor
19:57:49 < Ironholds> tyw7: she's sitting next to me and I just slapped her arse
+
*numerous failed projects
19:57:51 < Fluff|laptop> yeah, he's talking to the wrong me
 
19:57:51 < Ironholds> trust me, I know
 
19:57:57 < Fluff|laptop> no he didn't
 
19:58:00 < Fluff|laptop> he has terrible aim
 
19:58:03 < Fluff|laptop> he poked me in the hip
 
19:58:12 < Fluff|laptop> and now he just pinched my ass
 
19:58:19 < Peter-C> O_O
 
19:59:11 < Fluff|laptop> you'd think he'd have figured hiow to slap asses by now, but nooo
 
19:59:51 < tyw7> why is he slapping your ass?
 
20:00:00 < Ironholds> tyw7: we're fucking
 
20:00:02 < Fluff|laptop> why not? we DID say we're bored
 
20:00:06 < tyw7> O_o
 
20:00:12 < Ironholds> I mean, we're not fucking right now
 
20:00:15 < tyw7> Ironholds: you are fucking Fluff|laptop
 
20:00:16 < Fluff|laptop> Ironholds, see, no one believes you when you say that
 
20:00:17 < Ironholds> but as a general principle, we fuck
 
20:00:24 < Ironholds> tyw7: jeremyb didn't believe me either
 
20:00:29 < Ironholds> and we kissed in front of him and everythign
 
20:00:30 < Fluff|laptop> jeremyb practically rolled his eyes
 
20:00:33 < tyw7> you two are married?
 
20:00:37 < Fluff|laptop> baahaha
 
20:00:37 < Ironholds> tyw7: no, we just fuck
 
20:00:51 < Fluff|laptop> marry me, darling. we can drive each other insane for eternity
 
20:00:54 < tyw7> what would your wives/husband say? or are you single?
 
20:01:02 < Fluff|laptop> we're single
 
20:01:05 < Logan_> omai
 
20:01:19 < Ironholds> tyw7: dude, I'm TWENTY
 
20:01:22 < Fluff|laptop> haha
 
20:01:23 < Ironholds> I'm not married
 
20:01:27 Resfirestar is now known as res|starcraft
 
20:01:34 < Fluff|laptop> he's not married, he's just a babydaddy
 
20:01:39 < tyw7> Ironholds: really? I'm 18!
 
20:01:46 < tyw7> how old are you Fluff|laptop
 
20:01:49 < Ironholds> tyw7: well, nobody's perfect
 
20:01:50  * Fluff|laptop grins
 
20:01:52  * Courcelles never knows what is erious in this channel.  Ever.
 
20:01:58 < Logan_> erious?
 
20:02:00  * Fluff|laptop is far too old to be sleeping with Ironholds, let's just say
 
20:02:39 < Ironholds> Courcelles: we are actually being serious
 
20:02:47 < Ironholds> oh dear GOD THIS PRESENTATION IS DULL
 
20:02:53 < Ironholds> fuck this, I'm going for a smoke
 
20:02:56 < ^3^> You could leave?
 
20:02:59 < ^3^> Oh, nvm
 
20:03:06 < Fluff|laptop> Ironholds: do you think it will move them along if i make a show of falling asleep on your shoulder?
 
20:03:10 < Logan_> Ironholds: I thought you quit
 
20:03:16 < Ironholds> Logan_: quit what?
 
20:03:19 < Logan_> smoking
 
20:03:25 < Ironholds> Fluff|laptop: try going BOOOO! GET OFF THE STAGE!
 
20:03:29 < Peter-C> OMG Ironholds and Fluff|laptop need to get an apartment >:(
 
20:03:34  * Fluff|laptop looks shifty, suddenly decides she's a smoker if it means i can get out of here for ten minutes
 
20:03:36 < ^3^> Or a motel.
 
20:03:36 < Ironholds> Logan_: then I applied for a WMF job and tripled my stress levels
 
20:03:40 < Logan_> heh.
 
20:03:41 < Ironholds> Peter-C: we've GOT one. It's hers.
 
20:03:44 < Fluff|laptop> ^
 
20:03:49 < Peter-C> :O
 
20:03:50 < Fluff|laptop> brb
 
20:03:59 < Peter-C> Fluff|laptop has the dominant role in this relationship
 
20:04:09 < Logan_> you could have the marriage at the WMF headquarters
 
20:04:30 < tyw7> Ironholds: are you typing while in the meeting?
 
20:04:34 < tyw7> Say hi to Jimbo for me
 
20:04:35 < Peter-C> Logan_ - Jimbo could be the priest!
 
20:04:39 < Logan_> haha
 
20:04:52 < Nascar1996> ...
 
20:05:00 < Logan_> I declare you WikiHusband and WikiWife.
 
20:06:40 < tyw7> Ironholds: say hi to all the wikipedians for me ;)
 
20:10:26 < Ironholds> back
 
20:10:29 < Fluff|laptop> Peter-C: oh, if only you knew
 
20:10:37 < Fluff|laptop> Ironholds: we should photograph my bruises
 
20:10:41 < tyw7> Ironholds: who else is there at the meeting?
 
20:10:49 < tyw7> Fluff|laptop: and make it public domain?
 
20:10:51 < Fluff|laptop> lol
 
20:11:02 < Fluff|laptop> i have a rather spectacular one on my forearm
 
20:11:29 < NA_0> Bruises? What did I miss?
 
20:11:40 < tyw7> NA_0: Ironholds pinching and slapping Fluff|laptop
 
20:11:41 < Fluff|laptop> <_<
 
20:11:49 < Fluff|laptop> there's been very little pinching
 
20:12:11 < Fluff|laptop> or slapping, for that matter
 
20:12:29 < tyw7> and romping... :D
 
20:13:05 < Ironholds> romping, lots of that
 
20:13:08 < Fluff|laptop> hee
 
20:13:10 < Ironholds> Fluffernutter looks like she has hypothermia
 
20:13:16 < Fluff|laptop> ...?
 
20:13:37 < Ironholds> all blue
 
20:13:46 < Fluff|laptop> most of them are yellow and purple at this point
 
20:13:50 < Fluff|laptop> you've fallen behind
 
20:13:58 < tyw7> how can you romp in a Wikipedian meeting?
 
20:14:17 < Fluff|laptop> tyw7: you don't want to know what he just suggested to me in pm
 
20:14:36  * tyw7 fluffs Fluff|laptop
 
20:14:43 < Fluff|laptop> ew
 
20:14:46 < Fluff|laptop> hands off
 
20:15:05 < Ironholds> tyw7: blowjob in the stairwell
 
20:15:13 < Fluff|laptop> i said he didn't want to know, dude
 
20:15:24 < tyw7> lol O_o
 
20:15:27 < p858snake|l_> ironholds has alot of experience in that dept >.>
 
20:15:43 < Fluff|laptop> the stairwell is very creaky
 
20:15:56 < Peter-C> p858snake|l_ - giving or reciving?
 
20:16:08 < Fluff|laptop> also i kissed him on our way up the stairs and he was all "omg why are you touching me ew"
 
20:16:48 < p858snake|l_> Peter-C: I don't think it matters when you are talking about Ironholds <.<
 
20:16:53 < Fluff|laptop> lol
 
20:16:55 < Fluff|laptop> so true
 
</pre>
 
  
To further the hilarity, while she was in the UK and performing ''more'' sex acts at Ironholds' home in England, Fluffernutter was turned down a much needed ride to the airport by Ironholds because he simply [[Wikipedia|had better things to do with his time than give a ride to the woman that just sucked your genitals]].
+
;staff
 +
*sexualized workplace
 +
*'trust and safety' dept hiring ingraffea lol
 +
*gamaliel
 +
:*fake resigned from wmdc to keep his sysop
 +
:*member of wmdc despite living in tampa (opportunist/doesnt like the cold dc but wants the $50k slush fund for wiki'''con''' sandiego
 +
:*list out the auerbach shit dispassionately and leave it to the reader
 +
:*the host of other material im sure i can get from somewhere :^)
  
==Don't Be a Dick==
+
;what your donations ''don't'' pay for
 +
*content creation
 +
:*mention the reason (sec 230)
 +
*mention what portion pays to 'keep the lights on'
  
{{quote|[19:58] <Ironholds> You should however have instead taken your pen, punched a hole in her windpipe and looked on as her attempts to wave for help got increasingly feeble.}}
+
;they eat their own
 +
* https://medium.com/@kevingorman/please-don-t-donate-to-the-wikimedia-foundation-5b42908a8798#.fb4h8zea9
 +
*the stierch thing ('black hat' fired)
 +
*arbitrationgate
 +
*anvil email
 +
*gamaliel (see above/merge)
 +
*[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Requests_for_comment/Privacy_violation_by_TBloemink_and_JurgenNL the moiramoira thing]
  
{{quote|<Ironholds> actually, Jimbo gets massive amounts of pussy thrown his way}}
+
;corruption will get you everywhere
 +
*
  
{{quote|[12:19:35 A] <Sophiie> hi, can a page be undeleted just to see what it once was?<br>
+
==external links==
[12:19:47 A] <Ironholds> Sophiie, fuck off and die<br>
+
* http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Security-Watch/Backchannels/2013/0801/In-UK-rising-chorus-of-outrage-over-online-misogyny
[12:19:50 A] <Ironholds> thank you}}
+
* http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/10/08/wikipedia_foundation_money_in_wrong_place/
 
 
{{quote|[01:46] <Ironholds> it's 6:46am here and I'm insulting you using words you clearly don't understand<br>
 
[01:46] <Ironholds> I think I win.<br>
 
[01:46] <Ironholds> Anyway, now we're both in agreement that I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire - but would in all other circumstances - I shall bid you adieu. I can go back to work, you can go back to...whatever it is you do}}
 
 
 
{{quote|[01:51] <Ironholds> I am trying to demonstrate how much I want you to leave me the fuck alone and never come near me again<br>
 
[01:51] <Ironholds> I hope we're clear on this<br>
 
[01:51] <Ktr102> i have fucking noticed<br>
 
[01:52] <Ironholds> swearing doesn't suit you, deary<br>
 
[01:52] <Ktr102> ...<br>
 
[01:52] <Ktr102> night<br>
 
[01:52] <Ironholds> it's like seeing a mongrel do algebra}}
 
 
 
{{quote|[00:06] <Ironholds> he is a narrow-minded beardy fuckwit who understands half of what he's talking about and can communicate maybe a quarter. If you gave me a copy of his book I would choose to eat it before I chose to read it. He thinks that the gendergap is all about gender. Fucking moron|on Professor Joseph Reagle}}
 
 
 
{{quote|02:26 < Ironholds> I had to download it illegally because of their bullshit regioning<br>
 
02:26 < Ironholds> result: they are poorer and I still have the damn music<br>
 
02:26 < Qcoder00_> Ironholds: OMG You evil pirated stuff?<br>
 
02:26 < Ironholds> ESTABLISHED MUSIC INDUSTRY PLAN: WORKS FLAWLESSLY.|Oliver Keyes|WMF employee admits to piracy in #wikipedia-en}}
 
 
 
{{quote|[20:22] <+Ironholds> badmachine, I'm not in any kind of relationship with the declining sysop. Shut your pie-hole.<br>
 
[20:22] <badmachine> lol<br>
 
[20:22] <+Ironholds> indeed, for the longest of times she wanted to break my neck<br>
 
[20:23] <badmachine> what a thing for the community liaison to say<br>
 
[20:23] <+Ironholds> I'm here in a personal role}}
 
 
 
{{quote|<Ironholds> me, you and Dragonfly spent 20 minutes working out if it was physically possible to suck that many cocks in that period of time<br>
 
<Ironholds> in my experience it is}}
 
 
 
{{quote|01:12 < TParis> Ironholds: You silly guy<br>
 
<nowiki>01:12 < TParis> You gotta revdel the edit in the middle too: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Gun_politics_in_New_Zealand&oldid=561596433</nowiki><br>
 
01:12 < TParis> *shakes head* Can't ever give you OS tools...<br>
 
01:15 < Ironholds> TParis: oh, sod off. Kiefer needs his rubdown.<br>
 
01:15 < TParis> Well, you grab the oil, I'll meet you there.<br>
 
01:17 < Ironholds> only if I'm allowed to bring a lighter.}}
 
 
 
<pre>
 
08:38:32 <Ironholds>    ...you've been talking to my ex, haven't you? ;p
 
08:39:16 *      sonia neither confirms nor denies this.
 
08:40:00 <Ironholds>    well, if you have, tell her she's a bitch and I hope she gets cat AIDS
 
08:41:16 <Ironholds>    and if you have not, avoid her
 
08:41:24 <Ironholds>    she's a despicable human being, and that's ME saying that
 
08:45:41 <Ironholds>    sonia: what?
 
08:46:37 <Ironholds>    sonia: we dated for five years, from the age of 15. High-school sweethearts, as it were. Then I found out she'd spent those five years cheating on me, lying to me, being jealous of my female friends without ever telling me anything, the whole kit and kaboodle. And I was the one left fucked up. I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her.
 
08:46:47 <sonia> ...wow.
 
08:47:38 <Ironholds>    and when I say "lying to me"
 
08:47:58 <Ironholds>    I mean "when things went bad, she assured me that we'd try our best to fix stuff, then spent 5 months planning how to dump me without saying a word"
 
08:48:25 <Ironholds>    it finally came to a head when we were out on a date one day and I went "things are getting better, right?" and she turned to me and went "yup. You know I'm still dumping you, right?"
 
</pre>
 
 
 
==Wikipedia vandalism==
 
{{quote|1=the current record for penis size is 80 foot by Oliver Keyes.|2=[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Human_penis_size&diff=prev&oldid=46470687 IP 80.177.10.254]|3=totally not Ironholds' IP}}
 
 
 
During [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Kiefer.Wolfowitz and Ironholds his recent Arbcom case], it was [http://wikipediocracy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=56274#p56274 revealed] that Ironholds has been vandalizing Wikipedia for years. By [http://wikimania2012.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Google_Reception&diff=prev&oldid=32746 Ironholds forgetting to sign], Ironholds exposes his IP as 80.177.10.254. [http://simple.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Fr33kman&diff=prev&oldid=2933618 This edit] at Simple English Wikipedia shows Ironholds abusing a Simple English user he does not like. [http://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ottava_Rima&diff=prev&oldid=2790553 Here], Ironholds vandalizes Ottava Rima's user talk page at the Meta wiki.
 
<center>
 
{{quote
 
|Fr33kman, you really are a fucking moron. How the hell did you ever get any kind of technical privileges? "simple English Wikipedia" does not translate as "Wikipedia for English simpletons".|Fr33kman's talk page at Simple Wikipedia.}}
 
 
 
{{quote|all together now, *twaaaaaaat*|Ironholds, pride of the Wikimedia Foundation.}}
 
{{quote|after being shown to be an astounding cunt, and I will be gone for at least the duration of finishing my real life work - or until I decide that my return will get me, the gawping narcissistic camera-slut that I am, sufficient attention.|Verbose vandalism to Ottava Rima's Meta-wiki userpage}}
 
 
 
{{quote|the current record for penis size is 80 foot by Oliver Keyes.|From 2006. His more recent vandalism is less penis oriented
 
}}</center>
 
 
 
 
 
For a complete list of Ironholds' vandalism and sockpuppetry, see [http://tools.wmflabs.org/guc/?user=80.177.10.254 this link].
 
 
 
==See also==
 
*[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_be_a_dick lol irony]
 
 
 
== External links ==
 
*'''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Kiefer.Wolfowitz Ironholds v Kiefer.Wolfowitz ArbCom case]''', in which a prolific editor gets banned, but the abusive staffer does not
 
* [http://wikipediocracy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=2572 ''Wikipediocracy'']
 
* [http://wikipediareview.com/index.php?showtopic=35687&pid=289785&mode=threaded&show=&st=& IRC shenanigans at ''The Wikipedia Review'']
 
* [http://wikipediareview.com/index.php?showtopic=26748 Ironholds is a backstabber]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Okeyes (WMF) Okeyes (WMF)], for [[Wikimedia Foundation]] shit
 
* [http://uk.wikimedia.org/wiki/Microgrants/Copyright_law Buy my textbooks for me kthx].
 
* [http://wikipediareview.com/index.php?showtopic=27575 Ironholds' as Mentifisto] at [[Wikipedia Review]]. This is Ironholds' idea of "trolling".
 
*[http://blog.ironholds.org/ His blog] (copy and paste the link if it doesn't work)
 
*@quominus Twitter
 
*[http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Backchannels/2013/0801/In-UK-rising-chorus-of-outrage-over-online-misogyny Old media takes notice of Keyes' behavior]
 
 
 
=== Seven RFAs ===
 
 
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/O_Keyes First request]] as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User talk:O keyes O Keyes]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/O_Keyes_2 Second request]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Ironholds Third request] after changing his username to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:User:Ironholds Ironholds]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Ironholds_2 Fourth request]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Ironholds_3 Fifth request]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Ironholds_4 Sixth request]
 
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Ironholds_5 The seventh request] was granted out of pity, and quickly revoked. Notice the nominator, Barking Fish, flounced from Wikipedia while claiming to run a sock farm.
 

Latest revision as of 03:05, 14 August 2016

shit people will care about who donate to wikipedia

need
  • tell what their haul so far is
  • list their goal for a endowment so wp can run forever and keep info pollution alive

lol what will your funds go for

outreach
  • ineffective
management / mismanagement (ms management?)
  • sue gardner and the 600k[1]
  • sue gardner and sexual harassment
  • 'we admit weve been wasting your donations'[2]
hosting
  • pedo material
  • information pollution
wmf engineering
 
 
that one about not much of value
 

 

  • foreign labor
  • numerous failed projects
staff
  • sexualized workplace
  • 'trust and safety' dept hiring ingraffea lol
  • gamaliel
  • fake resigned from wmdc to keep his sysop
  • member of wmdc despite living in tampa (opportunist/doesnt like the cold dc but wants the $50k slush fund for wikicon sandiego
  • list out the auerbach shit dispassionately and leave it to the reader
  • the host of other material im sure i can get from somewhere :^)
what your donations don't pay for
  • content creation
  • mention the reason (sec 230)
  • mention what portion pays to 'keep the lights on'
they eat their own
corruption will get you everywhere

external links